Sat Nam

I haven't blogged in far too long- I thought I was done with it, that I had nothing left to say; but for the past few weeks I've been having so many thoughts, desires, recollections and reflections that I decided it was time to get the ball rolling again on this, my, expressive outlet.

I feel like I have finally achieved one of my Life's most important goals, the one that I've been chasing and hoping to get to for so long. The goal that seemed so far from reach, that top rung of the ladder that I've been slowly climbing to over the course of the last 6 years. I thought that I would feel fulfilled and content when I finally reached that rung, and don't get me wrong, I do feel very fulfilled; however, I've been getting overwhelming feelings to do more... to learn more... to improve and better myself and to just do it all- that is, everything that I've ever wanted to do or dreamed of doing. This is of course a "good" feeling.. or is it? I'm feeling rather overwhelmed because these feelings of doing it all rush in all at once, making the tasks seem impossible.

I keep remembering how our days on this Planet are finite- how each and every moment could be our, my, last... so what am I waiting for? Why am I hesitant to pursue the long list of desires that I hold in my mind but continuously fail to pursue. I've achieved everything that I've set my mind to, I've been blessed with the career of my dreams and am living the Life that I always wanted to live. Successful, in Love, independent and ever cautious to remember and be respectful of my Life and all that this World has to offer.

I feel like it's the simultaneous desire to tackle it all, at once, at this moment that holds me back- it's overwhelming and when I get overwhelmed, I shut down. So, I've decided that I am going to write out the aspirations that are colliding with one another in my mind in hopes that seeing them in front of me will help to compel me to take action and to continue to reach for that next rung on the ladder- I have to acknowledge and pursue the desires of my soul while I still have the time, will, opportunity and health to do it.
No excuses.

As of present, my being is begging to:
- Bike along the Detroit River until there is no where left for me to ride
- Read up on and learn more about Buddhism and Humanism
- Develop a strong connection to the Earth and be ever grateful for the opportunity to Live
- Learn, really learn, to play the harmonica like a true Blues artist
- Devour any literature and delve into every resource that will help me grow as an interpreter, professional and second-language ASL user
- Learn to graciously accept without guilt or insecurity
- Continue my studies of Yoga and pursue resources that will help me learn how to incorporate ASL into Yoga practices
- Volunteer more and socialize with like groups of people without apprehension

I have no doubt that more will come to mind as the day continues, but for now, I do feel a small sense of relief having typed out my feelings. Being able to read my thoughts gives me the opportunity to organize everything that's colliding in my brain and helps me to navigate where the starting point is.

The water and Sunshine is calling my name...

Namaste